Setup

Steve got a writing toolkit for Christmas, so we each took one of its’ emery boards containing a prompt, and started writing. He interrupted us every 5 minutes with another line which we used to change the direction of our stories. My starting prompt was: I loved the way she said “balloon”. She said it as if she were blowing bubbles

My story with the interruptions in italics is below.


Interruptions

I loved the way she said “balloon”.  She said it as if she were blowing bubbles.

I took the long purple tube from Joan Rivers, put it to my lips and blew. A terrible bang rang out and I was left with puce rubber all over my face.

“Brilliant…” she said, “You’ve come as the Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

“Joan, you never fail to deliver.” I was forced to laugh in spite of my annoyance.

Just then, a supermodel with a large cat, walked into the room.

“Rod doesn’t like purple” Kate Moss said, stroking her pussy.
gold balloon
“Okay, Zelda give me a gold one. Give me the R balloon” I said, motioning at them on the table.

“He loves only gold” said Kate. This was like getting ready to meet royalty, I thought.

“I’m beginning to like him. Just as long as he doesn’t wear plaid,” I said, picking up on Kate’s film theme, in between lungfuls of air and blows into the large gold sphere, which was slowly growing between my finger and thumb.

“Why?” said Zelda.

“Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid!” I said triumphantly. But she didn’t get it. Obviously never heard of the film. Zelda looked blank while Kate added to my general feeling of hysteria by countering with “That was Steve Martin, and not Rod Stewart besides…”  She broke off.

“What was that? I saw something out of the window. Look up there. It’s a bat circling in the sky!

“Fruit bats are good eating, I hear” said Zelda.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” I laughed giving up on the balloon blowing. “Who’s going to eat a bat. What kind of horrible disease could you catch from one of those rodents. Rabies?”

“Well my cat loves them.”

“That’s enough for me, Ms Moss. Let me catch one for her!”

“What are you going to do? Invite it in, to blow up a balloon?”

“No they have very tiny lips, couldn’t possibly manage it” I said as I looked around the room. There was nothing I could possibly use to catch the bat… Except a crooked umbrella!! I picked the brolly up and ran out to the verandah with it. Kate and Zelda were right behind me.

“Is that a Bentley?” said Kate.

I put my left arm up to sight the soaring creature drew my right arm back and launched the umbrella spiralling up ever upward into the wonderful sunset.

“It is, it’s Mr Rod Stewart!”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a mop top in a tartan suit, stepping out of the rear door of a classic car.

Then horrified, I looked down again, gasping as Stewart clutched at his belly, where the falling umbrella had pierced him through. A scarlet stain spread slowly on the drive around him, as his minders clustered helplessly around.

Kate and Zelda were screaming next to me on the balcony. Time for a sharp exit, I decided.