Jake wasn’t an expert in hallucinogenics. He’d had marijuana but nothing stronger. The grass had been bad enough.
After a couple of pints Jake had been putty in Gez’s hands when he had suggested a quick smoke, while waiting for the bus to Fleetwood a long time ago. Before the 14 had arrived they were laughing maniacally at very little.
They climbed upstairs on the bus and carried on laughing like drains at the most improbable stuff, so much so that it became painful and part of Jake’s brain was thinking “I just can’t stop, everyone’s thinking I’m a dick, why am I laughing at something that’s just not funny?”
But it was now 50 years later.
“So you taking it or what?” In his music room to the sound of Amon Duul, Gez was looking at Jake over his thick-framed glasses, like a weird headmaster. “Jake?”
“Er I don’t think so Gez. I don’t think I’m up for it. I think I’ll just go back home if that’s alright.”
“Lost your bottle?” snorted Gez.
“No I haven’t… but Maggie’ll be waiting for me.”
“Oh yeah that’s right… you run along to Mags. She’ll be waiting for ya with your facecloth and a clean nappy. Go on, you run along.”
You’re just bitter,you sad little man… thought Jake. Sad your girl left you and you’re all on your own and all you’ve got left after all these years is me to bully.
But Jake said “You sad git.. Just so you’re not on your own, I’ll take it if you do.” He knew he was a fool but Gez still had an allure Jake couldn’t shake off.
“Oh really? You will?” Jake nodded “All right! Come on. Let’s go to the Park!”
“Why not here?”
“I’m not taking acid here in my own flat! It’s a beautiful afternoon let’s go out!”
The Park had its fair share of walkers and joggers as they arrived but they were mostly on their way home presumably for an evening meal.
Gez was moving fast but Jake managed to keep up with him. The swans were very active too. “Must be mating season” said Gez.
The willows brushed the water and the setting sun coloured everything a deep orange. Gez gave Jake a tab and held one himself. He had a bottle of cider to wash them down with.
“This is mad Gez, taking LSD next to a lake? It’s not sensible”
“This is living Jake. If you wanna run off to Mummy, just piss off now”
“And leave you here with some acid? No way, you’ll probably end up topping yourself.”
“ Oh well, here goes” not looking at the white tab Jake put it on his tongue. It fizzed slightly with a lemony taste, then he washed it down quickly with a gulp of cider before he could change his mind and make Ge annoyed again.
“How does it feel?” said Gez.
“Nothing yet, man. Can’t feeling anything yet. Should I? You?”
“Me? You think I’m gonna take acid standing next to a Lake? Do I look stupid?” He started laughing at Jake who was staring back at him. “You should see what I can see.”
“What?” Said Jake
“You! Standing there with a bottle of cider and a really stupid expression on your face! How do you feel now?” They held his palm out showing the tab.
“I just feel normal. Nothing else. Maybe the cider’s made me feel a bit weird but nothing I’ve never felt before. If the lake turns pink I’ll let you know. If the swans turn into velociraptors …”
“What? It’s hitting you now. You’re talking in tongues!” He was still guffawing. “Did you check it before you took it?”
“No” It took a lot to get him worked up but Jake was getting angry now. “Why? Viagra was it?”
“Nah mate I wouldn’t waste that on you and Mags!” He pulled something out of his pocket and waved it about. It looked familiar to Jake.
“Love Heart! It was a bloody Love Heart you daft prick!” He carried on laughing. Then as Jake stared at him Gez unscrewed the top off the cider and took a big slug.
Jake hoped no one was witnessing this embarrassing incident. All the times Gez had made a fool of him or treated him like dirt, swum across his cerebral cortex, as though he was dying. Maybe he was? Maybe his friendship with Gez was finally sunk. This was the very last time he was going to be made a fool of by Gez.
He looked about him but there was no one else around to see him lean down and pick up an oar that had somehow got separated from one of the collection of nearby boats. He swung it at waist level and knocked the surprised Gez into the filthy water with his arms outstretched like he’d put his hands up in the air to surrender.
Jake dropped the oar and threw it after him. He wasn’t a murderer.
“Go on you fat bastard! You can swim with the fishes!”
He walked home to Maggie, hoping Gez wasn’t too drunk to get out. The big tub of lard would probably just float home anyway.
© adewils 2026
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